Joy of Praying

 By: ryan    2:35 PM  Dear Diary, Spiritual   No comments

I have a confession to make. I lose things all the time. People who knew me long enough knows me. I am a guy who drives out to shopping mall ending up with the parking ticket gone missing. The one who day dream even people are talking to me. The one who hide stuffs in the house and at the end forget where I hide it and worst forgot what I had hid. 

By now I've even lost track of how many things I've lost. I'd like to blame it on the fact I am a busy guy. Or pretend it's the stress of so many things came up to me. Plus I've got added responsibilities that come with my so call tight schedules. 

If you got to know me, you'd never guess I'm so absent-minded. Many times people been advising me that I need a strategy for coping with such forgetfulness but I came to realized that actually I don't need one. I would go gaga when my stuffs went missing and when I got fed up I won't look for it anymore. My philosophy is very simple. My theory is, I guess many of you'll have the same experience that those missing stuffs will turn up the minute you stop searching for it. 

Wallet, keys, thumb drive, member's cards, books, papers, documents, tickets, you name it. I've lost those. Most of the times these items resurfaced or maybe in Chinese they called it, "ghost blocked your eyes." It took as long as few weeks, months or even years but still, I found most of these things that I lost. 

Until the day it didn't. That was the day I lost something and couldn't find it again. 

I lost my happiness or in short, joy. 

As usual, I waited a while for it to return. But as weeks passed, I began to get depressed. I wondered how long it would be before I felt happy again. To me everything was dull, no more exciting stuff and all I got was anxiety.

As weeks turned into months, I struggled to ignore the depression that was bearing down and suffocating me, I knew it was one of those temporarily feeling of losing someone and something important but it was almost a year now. Exercise, movies, nice food, trip to my doctor wasn't helping my hefty heart. Given that I used to look forward to each new day, this change was a hard pill to swallow. 

I tried to shake off those sad thought and misery hoping all these would lift and the burden eased. After all, I guess everyone has bad days now and then. In the meantime, I spent a lot of time sitting on the chair staring the wall or laying on the bed staring at the ceiling recalling those happy moments while the time pass just like that. 

I had to do something, so I did and went out in search of what I'd lost.

I started to by closing my eyes and praying for joy. Only then did I begin to see where it had been hiding. I first spotted it in the pages of my book where I bought it long ago where I toss aside. Then later, I found it more by praying every single day and even more when I started to believe in something that I think it will not come true. And this is my new theory that I found. 

The fog did lift in a way that can see some clear blue spot from the sky. After that, when I learned how to say no, the clouds cleared and the sun almost out. I must try to let go of the smaller things to gain much greater things. 

Little by little, it came back. Joy, contentment, relieve and grateful heart. Of course, I still lose things all the time. Just the other day I lost something again. I still use my old theory and say with a shrug, "If that thing is mine, it will either come back to me or it will resurface."

But sometimes, I use my new theory too on something more important. I search with my eyes shut and pray.

Because if it's something meant to be mine, I know the will's will bring it back to me.

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The Time Keeper by Mitch Albom

 By: ryan    3:30 PM  Books. Mitch Albom   No comments

Finally finished reading The Time Keeper, the latest book by Mitch Albom. Mitch Albom is one of my favorite authors and he also wrote two of my favorite books "Tuesdays with Morrie" and "The Five People You Meet in Heaven". All of his books are wonderfully written and thought provoking. I've been looking for the book in Popular bookstore actually but sadly the book only came out after the worldwide released date which was scheduled on September 4, 2012. When I got the book I really wanted to read it in one sitting but unfortunately it took me two weeks long to actually finished reading the book.

Here is the short description:

From the author who's inspired millions worldwide with books like Tuesdays with Morrie and The Five People You Meet in Heaven comes his most imaginative novel yet, The Time Keeper--a compelling fable about the first man on earth to count the hours.

The man who became Father Time.

In Mitch Albom's newest work of fiction, the inventor of the world's first clock is punished for trying to measure God's greatest gift. He is banished to a cave for centuries and forced to listen to the voices of all who come after him seeking more days, more years. Eventually, with his soul nearly broken, Father Time is granted his freedom, along with a magical hourglass and a mission: a chance to redeem himself by teaching two earthly people the true meaning of time.

He returns to our world now dominated by the hour-counting he so innocently began and commences a journey with two unlikely partners: one a teenage girl who is about to give up on life, the other a wealthy old businessman who wants to live forever. To save himself, he must save them both. And stop the world to do so.

Told in Albom's signature spare, evocative prose, this remarkably original tale will inspire readers everywhere to reconsider their own notions of time, how they spend it and how precious it truly is.

First I found this book is an easy read and simple but most importantly with the same old Albom’s style, which tells a kind and heartwarming story about love. Love and so many emotions make us weak but love also takes you to so many places. In this novel he shows us the love for your partner, hope and rejection. Seriously, to me, each of Mitch's novels gets better and better.

Secondly, this novel made me really stop thinking about how I spend my time. Albom's great and creative explanation of history of Father Time and how true it is that time rules all of us in every second of everyday. I guess anyone who is reading this book will have a sense of self-reflection and when you finish reading it, instantly you feel a sense of peace. 

And lastly, The Time Keeper is also a fable of sorts that weaves together religion, philosophy and common sense in a way that results in a much defined message or even moral. The moral, which comes to all three characters in different ways, is certainly one that busy modern readers will be able to get behind. All in all, the characters are very realistic and the entire story line is creative and believable. Another great Mitch book! Can't wait until the next one! 

 Mitch Albom

I can tell you this is a fabulous read!!

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To Grandma With Love

 By: ryan    4:38 PM  Dear Diary   No comments

My Grandma had always been more than just my Grandparent. To me, she is my second mother. She is the one who brought me up as my parent works from morning till night. She love, she care and laugh with each and everyone that she knows. She is also a person who easily gets worried and timid about small matters and on September 9th she was admitted to hospital for heart's bypass surgery.

 My granny in cute sweater!!

At first, my Grandma was in the hospital after she complaint that she has difficulties in breathing and she said her tummy was very pain. After being admitted, then only the doctor found out that she had all four arteries blocked and she need to undergo a bypass surgery asap. No one had ever expected it, as my granny never complaint she had pain on the chest nor pain on the heart. When the doctor told us the severity of it, we were told she could have it for years. She might have shown some signs but we never knew it was because of her heart. The doctor said that if she undergoes the surgery she might have more years to survive yet the worst part is the doctor said there will be 50/50 chances of surviving. We were all heartbroken after we heard about the news.  

Since then, each and every member in our big extended family, we visited her regularly. I just dunno how to pen down the feeling especially where you see her so tired and weak yet we're all helpless beside giving her motivation and cares. On the 2nd of September 2012, never ever in my family history that for the first time ever all my granny's children and grandchildren were praying for her healthy in a temple. When the service started, with the chanting echoing the temple hall, tears fill my eyes and same with all my other family members. After the prayers, we all went home to tell her that and can see granny very happy on our filial piety toward her. Soon many visitors from the temple came to visit her too and ushered her well wishes for her smooth surgery. Later that day, we throw her a dinner party where all happily eat and chat with her. We assume this is a party to encourage her for the surgery even in our heart this party might be different meaning in our heart. 

I remember every single detail of the day my granny undergoes for the surgery. The day she when into the surgery room, I choose not to be there with her instead I went to temple to pray for the operation to goes well and smooth. I knew everyone will cries as I remember very clearly my mum being push into surgery room too. I can't stand that atmosphere and feeling especially so many people there and all crying at once. I reached hospital at 11am. By the time I reached, all my relatives was resting and waiting for the surgery to be over which it took approximately about 4 hours. We all assume it gonna be ok. After check out from the ward, we all when down to the hospital lobby waiting a call from the surgeon. Then approximately 1230pm, we heard the paging where it announced "Calling for patience ......, calling for patience . ......, please proceed to the ICU". We all never expect the paging. We got panicked and rushed to the ICU unit. My hearts almost leaped out and hoping thing does not go bad. 

When we reached ICU, the receptionist greets us and asked are we guys the family members of patient ......., we said yes and she told us, "Now patient is in ICU, please go in two visitors at a time." Then to be assured, we asked her is granny ok? She said yes. Oh gosh, thank Buddha granny is ok. For now at least we know the surgery is successful.

Now it has been a week and granny finally was fit to discharge from the hospital. From now, granny will be staying in my parent's house. I truthfully hope she will get well soon and to be able to laugh and go holiday with all her loving and caring children and grandchildren.

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